Tryin'

Looking back at the past few years is really trying for me, but to see how far I have come and the person I have become as a result of all that is really phoenominal. Its hard for me to see any changes because it has all been so gradual but hopefully my attitude and my actions speak for themselves.
I would like to tip my hat to Jenifer Cellmer who really stepped up to the plate and took really good care of my daughter. She is surrounded by love and has everything she needs and then some. It took alot of courage to step up and take responsibility for such a huge endeavor. Im being sincere when I say thank you JJ.
I have done every right thing i know to do to get to see my daughter and I will keep doing that no matter how things turn out. I will continue to pursue whats best for my family at all costs. I am a intelligent, loving person who chose the wrong path. Okay that was easy. I am on a different path now and I dont expect everyone to automatically believe it after so many years of the same behavior. I know some will never believe anything else but my past and thats their loss. No love lost there.
I could sit here and make excuses but that is so lame. I want both my family and Leddys family to know that my intentions were never for everything to turn out like this. I made poor choices to put myself here and I have actively taken responsibilty to change that behavior. Once i was able to get honest with myself the rest became easy. It has been a year and a half since I left for Oklahoma the first time and with persistence I have made it to this point. Now that Leddy is home whatever decision she makes I will respect, but we made a pact to give our daughter a chance at a loving life with both of her real parents and make any changes needed to ensure that. I have done what I said I was going to do and will continue to do so. I reconstructed my thinking and my attitude to be most beneficial for me and my family. What can I say? I defied the odds thusfar.
My hope is that our families can get over the past and realize that its all about that little girl. Anyone that knows me knows that all children love me and that Im an advocate for the children as a whole. Despite all the disagreements between her family and myself I would never keep her from anyone that loves her. Jayden Paul deserves all the love she can get. I have to put all the conflict behind me and  I will do whatever it takes to ensure a loving, happy environment for my daughter. That calls for everyone to get along and realize that children are innocent and we all are not. With that being said I ask that from everyone and am doing so myself. All I can do is what I know is right. Everyone needs to join hands and forgive and love unconditionally. Like it or not I am her father and we are all family. Who knows a few of you might just like me if you took the time to know me. As far as these cases go we are going to beat them both because Im fully aware of the concerns of bringing me into her life only to be taken away. If I honestly believed that to be the case I would never do that to my baby out of spite to the in laws. I am a big enough person to see things for what they are and be honest with myself. I can put myself in someone elses shoes. Im a firm believer in miracles because I have seen plenty happen and I ask that you all believe in them too.
 Leddy and I owe it to our daughter to give her the chance to have both her parents in her life. I know how it is to grow up without a father and I dont wish that on any child.