Monday, August 8, 2011


Where does it stop for Christ's sake? Let me start by saying that I have really given my all in trying to make it through all this bullshit. There have been so many people that have tried really hard to knock me off my game. Some damn near succeeded. Damned if you do damned if you don't is what I always say. That little moniker rings true for me today. Not just today in a metaphoric sense, but like really this minute of this day- like right fucking now. Let me be frank for just a moment. I have been going to this illegal ass bond probation bullshit for over two years with drug tests every single week. I recently looked over my stipulations recently and it said I had to report and pay my fees up to and not more than 24 months. Let me add, on my 25th month I am late, which I always am, but I am always there every single week and clean. Between keeping my ride running and working and going to court in Dallas, my custody hearings, and checking in for my other bond I find it miraculous that I was even making it in the first place. My officer went from being a rude, scrupulous, just downright cunt the past month and scheduled my appointments for 3:45 on Fridays to being a seemingly caring, concerned person. Boy I should have known that was a smokescreen. A few Fridays ago I was late only to be ambushed by my officer, another lady, some guy, and the supervisor who is a real dick. They proceed to take me up in the supervisors office and tell me I am going to jail and that they are going to get me. Well the supervisor starts hammering on me asking when the last time I drank alcohol was. I told him I dont drink. He kept on and kept on and I told him the closest thing I got to drinking alcohol was taking a sip of a virgin pomegranate margarita.The other lady throws down a piece of paper telling me to sign it admitting alcohol use which was a violation of my bond. Of course I refused because there was no alcohol in it and a sip and drinking are not the same. She gets pissed and says we are going to get you, you are going to jail. My officer proceeds to administer a mouth swab without gloves on and she didnt seem like she knew what she was doing either. Anyway a two weeks later I find out I have a warrant right before I was about to go in and report. Mind you this is all going down after my stipulations had run out. What a bunch of bullshit. After all this time I am clean and all of a sudden they pull this and I am not? Well I am clean and Im fighting yet another accusation from these people. A. the case is illegal B. there has already been a guilty plea with oral testimony exonerating me from these charges so what the hell they are just going to drag their feet and get me on some inconclusive bullshit? You know I am so goddamn sick and tired of all the underhandedness going on, I am refuting the results backed up with a surefire result that goes back 90 days and Jim can get this straightened out. Meanwhile I have to cancel my visit with Jayden because of the warrant and the opposing attorney filed to suspend visitation and it worked this time. My attorneys are calling for more money because there is more work and I have been doing my best and getting up after all the knock out blows but I am still working my ass off and I am about to get up one more time. Money goes out faster than it comes in. My mother defriended me on facebook and my sister wont even return a message.  I guess they are too busy to give a shit about what is really going on.. This is a witch hunt and I know my nose is big but I don't see any fucking warts on the end of mine. Hell just a little help would be nice but the truth is that without any money I am doomed for sure. I barely scraped up the money for a hair follicle test, I am losing my apartment but I cant go there anyway because the man may come looking for me. Today it would be easy for me to throw in the towel. Today it would be easy to call my friends from central Mexico and let my balls hang in hopes that the gamble would pay off because at least I have a 50/50 chance then. Damn I am feeling the pressure but Im not some crackhead bitch that is going to let these assholes do me any old kind of way. I am on this it's time for the apocalypse of the new testament- the motherfucking come up after the resurrection. For all of you who could have helped but didn't for whatever weak ass reason you may have FUCK YOU and John Wayne bitch. Watch me do like yeast - AND RISE BITCHES. Yes I have become a little jaded and frankly I dont need anyone else anyway. Be forewarned I am going to get mine and I will go to the extremes to make this happen because really I am dead any other way it goes. I want my daughter to know me for God's sake is that asking too much. I will work round the clock until I can pay all this stuff and don' t get in my way because you will be sick when I run all over you and don't look back. Its extremely serious and so am I. Good Luck. I will keep writing as things unfold.