Monday, July 25, 2011


Okay lets put aside all the tongue in cheek statements and the inflammatory comments that are only meant to get a rise out of people. It's all about the publicity isn't it? If it's the truth then what is the problem? I'm not trying to embarrass anyone or put anyone down. I am trying to bring to mind the things that I feel are unjust or unfair that I have tried and tried to resolve with no results. Today I am more than able to think first that I may the root of the problem and take responsibility in searching for resolve. Some days are better than others but generally I keep things on an even plane. There are no more ups and downs for me, I am in control of me and my life. I have devoted all of my spare time towards trying to reach out to people that have problems with drugs and guide them in the right direction. When there seems like there is no hope my story sheds light to totally disprove that whole mindset. I know I was there once. Not to say that I'm perfect, but Narconon gave me the opportunity to grasp and apply all the tools necessary to live a fruitful drug free life. One huge difference in the program up there is that they reconstruct your thinking ethically and morally in order to decriminalize the clients. The program is tuned to produce happy, productive, honest people. That's it in a nutshell but it really is so much deeper than that. I'm not being corny when I say that I really got alot out of that   program. My attitude is different and even my thought process is different. I can now handle all of life's challenges and endeavors on life's terms without resorting to drug use to mask or hide the pain or feelings one may get in these situations. Basically they taught me how to live again. I apply certain formulas to my life in order to succeed. This has all been such a humbling experience and I am so grateful to my family that has helped me, my attorneys, my probation officer, my friends, and most of all I am grateful that God saw fit that I be allowed to return to His graces. Today I love myself and, in turn, can love others. I can be a father, I can be a friend, I can be a son and a brother. Drugs stripped me of every single thing that I have ever loved or held dear to me. The rebuilding process has been as difficult as the downfall but now I'm programmed not to give up, to go for my dreams, and to imagine the impossible. I am living proof that miracles are possible. I am one. My long term goals are to push legislation towards rehabilitating drug offenders and to play an active role in saving people lives who have been haunted by drug addiction. My own reality is that I am comfortable in the now. My present time is healthy and positive, that's how I make it through the hardest days. I have let go of the past and all the guilt I carried around for years and years. I am now able to let my heartache and problems help others pull themselves from the depths of their addictions. Sure I may be crass and brash at times but it's how I really feel. From this point on my literary existence is going to choose a more subtle approach because I want my stories to be able to be read by the young and old, I want it to be acceptable for everyone to read. I am an intelligent, loving, productive person and I aim to use all my lemons to make lemonade. If I get through to one person then I win, we all win. That is a good start because our children have to grown up in this mess we created and if we aren't trying to make it better and make a difference then we are a part of the problem. There is no excuse for idleness. I want people to gain the knowledge I have been lucky to learn and gained the ability to apply to apply it. That is the key, I knew the difference between right and wrong, I knew what living right meant, but I had forgotten how to do it. I got so wrapped up in the drug life that I was borderline in losing my own. I was of no help to anyone before, even myself. Now I have the chance to utilize my capabilities and my God given gifts to make a huge impact on the life that almost ruined the real me. People on drugs make decisions and do things that they never would do sober. A clear, healthy mind constitutes a productive ethically and morally sound existence. I only hope and pray the courts can recognize my efforts put towards making a difference because I can inspire and motivate people and it feels good to be using those things in a positive manner for once. Thanks to all and my best regards!