Sunday, March 27, 2016

56 Months Later

I would like to start off by thanking my family and friends that stuck by me when it wasn't the coolest thing to be associated with even a loved one who was doing all the things I was doing back then. A true fresh start is such a miraculous opportunity for anyone and I'll tell ya what it feels good to not have to worry about any of that anymore. It's all staying in the rear view mirror pal. I also want to thank my life long friend Brian Salvant who showed up as a character witness for me and helped me a ton with the cases. Jim Shaw and Kyle Whitaker got down for me also. You have to love a killer defense crew. Those guys are all some of the best. I'm driving my 740il that Jim got back from the sheriffs department so there. There were things I couldn't talk about because of the pending cases and now the statute of limitations has run out on all the crazy stuff. It's all a means to an end, but there is a story to be told and I've written notebooks full of stuff I may be able to bind together for a decent read. There are definitely strange feelings that come along with being gone for almost 5 years and coming back with a whole different perspective. I'm 45 years old now and you know things have just just changed. I'm careful to say oh I've changed so much and I'm so much different because even I can say that's a bunch of bullshit. I experienced a lot of pain looking inward at the truth and I fought it for many years down there. I look back at what I'd written before and I feel the same feelings coming back associated with that time it's kind of scary. Man I truly wonder wtf was I thinking? Gawd. I'm hoping that by sharing the things that I've experienced to get to where I'm headed, it will help someone realize that even when things look dark not to give up that good things will happen. There is a redemptive message on the horizon and there's light to be shed on the real struggles I faced and continue to face every day. Today I am pretty happy and grateful for all the blessings I've encountered and they keep happening every day. I'm not harboring all the anger that I held onto for my whole life that consumed me and it's a good feeling to be able to call up my mom and pops knowing that everything is going to be all right. Leaps and bounds. Not to say that it won't be gritty talking about it. I went back and forth on going ahead and writing about it but I know it will reach out  to people that I know who are still suffering. Know that I get it and I gots love for my peoples.