Lovely

All I can say is thank you to the ones who had the courage to stand behind a not so popular situation and believe in the unbelieveable. Its not over by any means but I am definitely worn out. I can truly say that after overcoming the fear of being alone the true work came to the surface. All the years I put into being a not so good guy has to have a time limit on making it good. It could be forever which would be underdstandable. I can work with that, I owe a lot of good and I am willing to put in the work to make that happen. Who in the hell else would have gone through all the things I have gone through that didn't really want to change. The fact is that drugs and the drug life are a real misconception in America. Nothing but heartache and despair come out of all of it. Life in the end is empty and regret plagues the mind of many that wish they would have done something differently. Well Im giving it my all to show that there is no glamour, nothing real about it. It is all a facade that leads to the destruction of many lives. It ruins families, it is everything that it doesn't seem with nothing positive coming out of it. I used drugs to mask my true feelings or to block out my inconsistencies and lack of ability to deal with life on lifes terms. Things don't automatically get better all of a sudden, there are so many past actions or lack thereof that have to be repaired and not everyone is going to accept and understand. Im just trying something new for once in my life and it has been working thus far. It has been the hardest road I have traveled and I refuse to give up. I decided to use this blog to further some of my personal opinions and views on the life that Im attempting to create for myself. Im not looking for sympathy or anything else. I just want to be heard. People have such a tendency to pass judgement or make a decision without all the true facts of the situatuion. I will make it a little easier. Yes I have been given chances and I have managed to mess things up, but never before have I taken the steps I have now pursued to make my life better and put the drugs and all it entails behind me. People talk shit and I have too, but there has to come a time for the cards to be out on the table and someone to take responsibility for their actions. I have done that, yes, I was a lost confused person for many years who turned to drugs as an escape. People on drugs dont make the same decisions they would if they were not on them. Its proven. Hell I proved it myself. I am not a bad person, actually I am a loving, caring person with an intellect that is now geared toward helping the young people realize that anyone can change and that anything is possible. All I need is that chance, having 80 years hung over your head for all these years has really taken it's toll but I still move forward. I hope someone may see this and realize that miracles are possible. Thanks you.