Back In The Saddle

Have you ever been heading in a direction in your life where you knew you were heading in the right direction, had the map all laid out, confident that it was best thing? Well so was I and in life things change, people places and things- they change. I took a haitus to reevaluate my goals and buckle down so that I could come up with a plan more fitting for what Im really trying to achieve here which is pretty complicated. I have recently heard, " You'll never get your dautghter back, you don't have a real job (doing interventions) and you don't even have your own place or insurance or a car." Since then I have thought about that statement every single day. While reconstructing my life I have since then got a job that supplies a regular paycheck (hopefully pretty hefty ones too), I got a new place, and I should also be getting my BMW back from the sheriff in a few weeks. Who is doubting now? Plenty I'm sure. It's easy to lend a hand to someone who is already doing good because they don't need a whole lot. Well when you are facing a life sentence people tend to be apprehensive on wasting their time on something that may not pan out. Well I dont see it like that. Truth be told I sold everything I had even my Macbook to get into a place and make a feeble attempt to stay alive in the game. Hell I have been scraping by waiting for my first check to hit and it's coming soon. I slept on the floor in my empty apartment for over a week, gone to bed hungry, just showed up at friends houses at dinner time to get an invite to curb my hunger, got power turned off while trying to transfer the service in the mid summer heat, dodged the police because my registration is out, ran out of anything to drink  even water and had to gaffle a refillable big gulp cup from 7-11 to get free refills. The list goes on. These things most people take for granted. I remember a few years back I lived in a 5800sqft home in an exclusive community without a worry in the world. Ill tell you this every single person that came to me I helped no matter how big or how small the favor was even if it put a little stress on my good livin' for the moment. I'll tell ya what when the shoe is on the other foot it's never the same. Hell I had to coast the old Mercedes into downtown to report because I was out of gas, BUT YOU KNOW WHAT IM STILL MAKING IT-IM STILL A CONTENDER. 24 months on bond probation with UAs every week (300 behind on those fees) with every single one clean! How do you like those apples? I wanted to write about my everyday occurrences, but when I was going to use the free wifi at McDonalds and get a McDouble for a dollar and the rest in gas I got pulled over. I was lucky enough, once again, not to get a ticket at all or arrested. Who knew? Felt strange to be treated like a normal citizen for once by the man. Actually it was a young guy and he was really professional and courteous. Anyways here I am strapped with a story to tell that has to be heard. Im a believer because if I wasn't I'd be dead right now or already down in Huntsville doing a long stretch. It''s all really emotional but there are no more ups and downs, things remain at an even scale so that I am always able to make the right decision. Jim got my cases set off untill the end of summer so it gives me a little time to get some money together. We are looking at illegal warrants and things are turning in my favor big time. Now it's time for everything else to start falling into place. It's like this everyone says you need to change and you do and it still isnt enough. I know who I am and fuck the ones who think Im not good enough, Who needs them? God know I have enough working against me so I just choose not to acknowledge the crappy things people say, this is about me not their half witted opinions. Im down for mine and no one can tell me differently. Off to work good day everyone!!!!